Drink Like a Cancer: 6 Beverages to Cure Summertime Sadness

When I recently shared my Drink Like a Gemini article on Facebook, the first 3 people—in fact, nearly the only 3 people (RIP Facebook)—to like the post were my sister, my editor, and one of my longest childhood friends. All of them are Cancers. All of them, in fact, have the same birthday, or very nearly. (Editor to confirm. She’s previously been evasive on this front.) On one hand, this was a real show of Cancerian support and long time loyalty, something the crabs of the Zodiac are definitely known for. On the other, it kind of felt like a warning. Cancer was up next, and they were already signaling to me that they were watching. Cancer people may forgive, but they will not forget, so I better get this one right.

But I’ll go easy (hopefully?) on the Cancers, because they generally don’t have it easy. They feel everything deeply, and if crossed, they feel that forever. (Writer beware.) It’s actually very fitting that Cancer sun begins right at the summer solstice. When the days are longest, that’s the time of year that you are most likely to get burned from exposure. By Leo season, one is more able to bask without fear, and therein lies a perfectly metaphorical comparison of the difference in confidence between those 2 neighbor signs. 

Some good news: Cancers, with their sensitive natures, crave comfort, which does seem to at least lend itself very well to Zodiac-inspired, summer beverage selection. So this summer, drink like a Cancer, with 6 beverages that can’t actually heal your sunburn, but that may still help with summertime sadness.

Beer: Wheat Beer

Wheat beers are hazy numbers often served with an orange slice. Whether or not that fruit garnish intentionally symbolizes the sun, it certainly doesn’t hurt wheat beer’s reputation for being bottled sunshine. San Diego’s Stone Brewing takes it a step further by christening their lightly spiced, Belgian-style wheat “Dayfall.” While Cancer people themselves might not be the most inherently sunshiny people, their sensitivity does make them among the easiest to love. That, plus their summer solstice kickoff date, gives them a nice symbiosis with summery, easy-to-love wheat beers.

Wine: Rosé

Cancer is a water sign that ushers us into beach season, so how could I not match them up with a wine that explicitly calls rosé what it is: Summer Water. Drink up! Fact: it’s impossible to be crabby while drinking rosé. Also fact: rosé is an excellent pairing for soft shell crab.

Spirit: Gin

Is gin a more comforting spirit than any other spirit? Unclear, since whatever spirit you choose to cry into is probably comforting to you. With a rash of terroir-driven gins entering the market, however, I was interested in the seaweed element that is starting to make itself more common as a companion for juniper, and therefore the possibility of gin as a Cancerian spirit. Hendrick’s Neptunia, a recent selection from its limited release Cabinet of Curiosities, employs seaside botanicals to create a distinct, maritime, water-sign gin.

Non-Alcoholic: Water

All of the water signs have big feelings, but Cancer, as the cardinal water sign, has the biggest, deepest, most oceanic feelings. Hydration is key here, not only for replenishing any H2O lost as tears, but also if you’re going to be spending time in the hot, try-not-to-get-burned, sun-in-Cancer sun. New Orleans’s Level Water brings even higher level hydration with its ultra-purified, high alkaline water whose mineral content can also help, among other things, to lower your blood pressure.

Ready-to-Drink: Fisher’s Island Lemonade

Long before any of us was old enough to drink rosé, lemonade was the official drink of summer. Even as adults, lemonade conjures a sense of nostalgia, of simpler times when the Cancers of the world had less burden to bear for all of us. Fisher’s Island Lemonade is a pioneering and award-winning canned cocktail that combines both vodka and whiskey in an adult beverage you wish you could open your own sidewalk stand for.

Cocktail: Painkiller

Follow my logic…I began, as I often do, by looking for a cocktail called Cancer. (For a real dose of summertime sadness, go ahead and google “cancer cocktail.”) So then I thought, what about a cocktail called Tropic of Cancer, which leads to slightly less depressing results. While I was sitting there with the word “tropic,” however, I went diving into the tiki category, which excavated the most Cancer cocktail of them all: the Painkiller. Not only is it Cancerian in name, since Cancer people generally have more pain in need of killing than the rest of us, it’s also rather Cancerian in spirit: an aggressive name for a juicy, tropical cocktail that’s actually pretty sunny at its core. Recipe? Head to Freutcake for a classic version.